Me, My Space, and I

My Space has become a household necessity, much like the spatula, for many over the past few years. Myspace and facebook have taken place of speed dating/dating services, telephone calls, correspondence, blind dates/formal introductions, and the like. Somehow, throughout my son's urging and the constant solicitation of friends and coworkers, until now, I've been able to escape this part of the cyberworld - the part that seems to be over run with preteens, teenagers, and adults trying to meet new people and keep in touch with old friends. Personal web pages with comments and in-boxes have replaced physical contact and interaction.

In creating my "myspace" page, I was very thoughtful, and in fact, shockingly truthful, but even more so limited. Knowing what my younger son puts on his page, made me understand what this exercise was designed to investigate - truth. Truth with respect to so-called autobiographies displayed for the world to read...truth behind why people create alter egos for themselves and their viewers. I drastically limited the information I circulated with much more hesitation and thought. I feared the release of my and my family's personal information so much so that I purposefully withheld information critical to portray the true me...the me I prefer strangers and those I choose, not know. I was comfortable displaying pictures of my and my family's life, but when it came to disclosing intimate details that you so often see on facebook and myspace, I couldn't bring myself to divulge those private details - details about the town in which we live, places we visit, and where we work. I consistently envisioned the prying eyes of petofiles sleezily scanning information for clues about where my sons could be found. I thought about serial killers scanning myspace pages for someone who is within reach to fit the profile of his next victim.

Without providing certain information, I found it difficult to convey my real, true inner- self. Throughout this time-consuming, thought-wrenching process, I repeatedly asked my fifteen year old for assistance finding the right background and music, much to his frustration. I attempted honesty with those unfortunate enough to find my page, and realized something along the way. Maybe this is why my son creates new persona on a rotational basis - surfer dude one season and rock star the next. This is all fine with me as long as he doesn't give out his true personal information. Maybe this is why the world is so dishonest about themselves to those who read their pages. Could they just want to fit in, but not want to divulge their most intimate feelings and thoughts? Maybe they are just trying to be someone they're not. What's really wrong with that? Maybe life dealt them a hand they didn't realize they played until one day they woke up and found their original hand, the original plan, long since folded. They are now caught up in a hand they must play out, like it or not. Or, maybe, like me, they fear the unknown person looking into their lives like a crystal ball, but don't want to be left behind, out of the cyberloop.

I had a hard time with this exercise due to my fear of the unknown - a fear I never knew I had and never really thought about before. Finally, I have to ask, why would anyone put themselves, their true selves, their intimate self in all honesty, out there in the cyber fishbowl for the whole world to see, to find, to know?